Brave things

Brave things for me right now...

*  I'm acknowledging that I'm different to the way I've seen myself for many years, my body is different and changing into its middle-aged self, and I want different things for myself as I head towards my 50th birthday in January 2015

 

*  resting when I feel that I need to, instead of pushing myself to do more and more and more

 

*  saying no to things that I really don't want to do, both personal and professional stuff (sometimes this works out, and sometimes it doesn't)

*  working hard and having faith that everything will be ok

 

*  delegating some of my monster workload, and bravely giving up control

 

*  having courageous conversations with my boss

 *  facing the reality that I am no longer professionally ambitious.  I just don't want to be the next big boss of the big boss.  I want a more gentle, satisfying and creative life that is filled with deep peace.  I don't want to work so damn hard anymore

*  acknowledging that I procrastinate, especially when I'm overwhelmed with too much to do.  So I do nothing.  For a while.  And then my Capricorn self gets up and carries on again

*  realizing that while I love my home, I don't like the area where it's situated (it's just too noisy) and that the townhouse complex is badly managed and maintained; no rush, but I may think of moving on in a year or two

 

*  dealing with the reality that people will let me down, that they get busy and have their own stuff going on

 

*  acknowledging that I cannot save the world, and sometimes have to look away from the huge need out there - the many beggars that I see at every traffic light when I drive to work and back each day, the mountain of initiatives to save the rhino / lions / elephants / unwanted pets / old people or orphans...

*  facing the scale every week

*  acknowledging that I just don't like most vegetables.  So I won't force myself to eat them anymore
 

*  reading up and learning more about dementia and caring for ageing parents

*  it's ok to be sad and scared and melancholy sometimes

 

*  thinking of attending the next bereavement course at my Church, to deal with some hurt and regrets from my sister's passing in 2011